Why You’re Not Achieving Your Goals

Achieving your goalsThe reason you’re not achieving your goals is because you don’t truly believe you can achieve them.

I know – news to you isn’t it?

I hear you:

“I do so believe in my dreams. I read, and I study my craft… and hell yes, I believe I can do it. I’m different to my parents’ generation – to my friends and peers even – exactly because I believe I can do this. I’m journeying down a different, perhaps less well-trodden, path and it’s exactly my belief in myself that’s driving me.”

So why isn’t it happening for you then? Why has nothing come of all this belief in yourself and the choices you’ve made up until now? Here’s why:

You don’t truly believe that your dreams can come true – you simply agree that they could.

To avoid comments that I’m talking utter crap (well, to minimise them anyway), allow me to explain myself…

Say achieving your goals for you is being incredibly rich and having and doing things that only ridiculous amounts of money can afford. Thinking and agreeing that this can happen for you, even if you’re flat broke right now, is one thing. But in order to make it happen you have to truly believe that it can – and that’s the kicker.

There’s a huge difference between the above two ways of looking at your dreams and going about achieving your goals.

Thankfully, there is a way of closing the gap between simply agreeing and truly believing, without the need to employ some mystical, magical process. This method has little to do with manifestations and the law of attraction. (Actually it may have, but that’s not what we’re concentrating on here.) You may be happy to hear that this process is actually quite logical and transparent.

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So what is this process?

Well, we humans are an analytical bunch and on the whole we need proof before we can truly believe something is possible. If blind faith leads you unwaveringly towards achieving your goals then good job – skip this lesson. Go outside and play with the other kids until lunchtime.

The rest of us need a bit of evidence to kick our beliefs up to the next level. (The level where all the happy (rich?) folk are reaching their goals and doing what they love every day.) It’s a bit like being a lawyer and representing somebody in a court of law – we need evidence and logical reasoning, as well as a healthy dose of faith in humanity, in order to build a good case.

How do you get this proof and start achieving your goals?

OK, here’s a 5 step process to help build your case:

  1. Look for evidence in others who have been in a similar situation to you and who have achieved what you want to achieve (perhaps against the odds). Surround yourself with people like this – virtually and otherwise.
  2. Eliminate any unreliable witnesses. Don’t spend too much time – or any if you can help it – with the naysayers. It’s just counter-productive. (There’s a reason I talk a lot about naysayers in my freelance writing course, as well as in my travel blogging eBook.)
  3. Find water-tight, conclusive evidence everywhere you go and in everything you encounter. In order to build evidence for your own case, it’s important to be constantly on the lookout for things that will support it.
  4. Do something – anything – that will push you towards your goals. Jump and watch the net appear. If the net doesn’t appear…
  5. Dispel any evidence that counters your argument with clear and logical reasoning. Then get back up and carry on building your case.

Only when you’ve shown yourself (and others) that only one possible verdict can be reached, will you truly be a believer.

Then the possibilities will no longer just be possibilities; they’ll be concrete, unwavering – almost quite ordinary – truths.

Truths you’ll no longer have to constantly strive so hard to believe in – they’ll simply be your new reality.

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12 Comments

  • Dylan

    Reply Reply September 24, 2013

    Great post, Kirsty 🙂

    • Kirsty Stuart

      Reply Reply September 24, 2013

      Thanks Dylan.

  • Mark McClean

    Reply Reply September 24, 2013

    I like your analogy of “building a case” to help us believe.

    In building my case, especially at the beginning of my journey, a healthy dose of honesty goes a long way.

    If I can accurately define the shape and size of my own particular brand of success then “building a case” becomes clearer.

    “Beginnings” can be a humbling experience. I’m stuck between reaching for the stars and falling on flat on my face.

    I guess if I’m failing forward there’s hope. Good read.

    • Kirsty Stuart

      Reply Reply September 25, 2013

      Hi Mark! I’m glad your ‘case’ is becoming clearer to you. Enjoy the beginning of your journey – it’s where you learn the most…

  • Jennifer Baltz

    Reply Reply September 25, 2013

    Great post Kristy! I’ve also found that building evidence helps to gain real support from others, too. It’s a lot easier to create your goals when someone else is in your corner. (Note to all those doubting spouses and families out there!)

    • Kirsty Stuart

      Reply Reply September 25, 2013

      That’s a great point Jennifer.

  • Carolin Grandin

    Reply Reply September 26, 2013

    I agree completely, Kirsty. The Law of Attraction is astonishing – and works both for negative and positive actions and thoughts, so we have to be careful!

    • Kirsty Stuart

      Reply Reply September 26, 2013

      Thanks Carolin – yep, it’s alarming how much we can talk ourselves out of things with our negativity!

  • phuein

    Reply Reply September 28, 2013

    It is not the fault or blame of the person that they fail. Failing is natural. Through failing we learn and change our perspective and behavior, so that we learn what works and what doesn’t.

    You say that we fail when we lack belief, but that’s just not true. We fail, because failure is the bigger part of life. It is only after sufficient failure that we succeed.

    We succeed, because we don’t give up after each failure. We keep on trying. We try different angles and ideas. Belief has nothing to do with success.

    Now, I do understand what you mean by “believe in yourself.” It’s another way of saying that each person should trust their emotions and ideas, and try them out, even if others mock them. I agree with you on that; we should never give up on what we feel is right, even when we fail, and sometimes, miserably so.

    Thanks for raising this important topic! We all need encouragement. 🙂

    • Kirsty Stuart

      Reply Reply September 28, 2013

      Thanks for such a thoughtful comment Phuein. I like your definition that self-belief is about trusting your own emotions and ideas – I think this is spot on. I don’t mention ‘failure’ in this post but appreciate your thoughts on it anyway. Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a considered comment. 🙂

  • Shaunhaun

    Reply Reply September 29, 2013

    Self belief to an extent comes from within, however it is in the face of external factors when this self belief tends to come under threat. For example, I can think I am the best footballer in the world, but if I watch a game with professional world class players, this self belief is likely to come under considerable threat as I realise I am not up to their standard.

    Therefore I think its important that you are selective in choosing who you compare yourself against as a benchmark. I am a new writer, and think my writing ability is good. When I compare my writing to other new writers, my writing excels, so I know that I am on the right path. If I compare it to others at the top of their game, well obviously I am not quite at that level. It is important to take a step back at this point, understand that they have been writing for many more years than me, and to use their writing as inspiration rather than feeling inferior. I am able to look objectively, finding elements of their work that can reinforce that I could be just as strong a writer as them, especially once I have reached the same level of experience. This for me, reinforces that self belief.

    • Kirsty Stuart

      Reply Reply September 30, 2013

      Exactly! Very well put, Shaun.

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